


The Five Times Leo Valdez Almost Died and the One Time He Did

by ThePendragonQueen



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Death, Depression, Heavy Angst, Insecure Leo Valdez, Past Child Abuse, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal!Leo, Suicide Attempt, angsty, caleo - Freeform, depressed!Leo, happier ending than you're expecting i promise, leos past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 09:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18163547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePendragonQueen/pseuds/ThePendragonQueen
Summary: Leo Valdez has been through a lot in his life, including some near death experiences. What exactly made him so tired, so sad, so broken? Here are five times he thought death had finally crept up on his, ready to whisk him away to the Underworld, and the one time it finally did. Not as sad of an ending as you probably expect.





	1. A New Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys!!! Just to let you all know, this story is going to be pretty angsty and have some harder situations in it so just be careful when reading it and pay attention to those tags! Happy reading! It'll end happy I promise!

Abused, beaten, and curled up in the closet.

That's how they found him.

Days, no, _weeks_. That's how long he was locked up in there. He had little water, little food, little light. He had a bruised body, a broken rib, and a fractured arm. He had been tormented to near death by his foster parents. And he couldn't be more than ten years old.

The paramedics slowly picked him up, not wanting to hurt him anymore than he already was. They laid him out on a stretcher and put him in the back of an ambulance before quickly driving away. His foster parents stood leaning up against a cop car while handcuffs were put on their wrists. They tried to fight it. Tried to say that it wasn't what it looked like. But what could be said? It was exactly what it looked like. A pair of foster parents neglecting a chid because they only wanted the money. Except this time it was more than just neglect, it was abuse.

This had been Leo's second foster home. The first one didn't work out either but it wasn't as bad as this one. At least the last one never hurt him. The day he was given to these parents he knew he was in trouble. The dad was an alcoholic who didn't care, he was barely home. The mom was just downright crazy, often drunk and hopped up on drugs. How was it that they even passed the background check to become foster parents?

The dad had dark hair and a stubbly beard with eyes the color of dirt. The mom had blond hair that was often pulled back into a slick bun with eyes as steely as the moon. They day Leo walked in and sat down was they day his life had gotten that much worse. He had already been through a lot and now he was put with two parents who just didn't care. When the parents went to pick him up they had a nice smile on their face, a welcoming one that seemed happy to have Leo. As soon as they walked through the door into their house the smile disappeared. They shoved him forwards into the dimly lit area.

"This is your room," the woman said with a voice as cold as ice. Leo looked in to see a tiny area with gray walls and a small gray bed. It had no tv, no video games, no toys, no space to play. It looked more like a jail cell than a bedroom. That night they sat at the small, round, glass dinning room table and ate quietly. Leo was shaking with every bite he took, trying to be as quiet and as perfect as possible. He didn't want to mess this family up.

"Leo," the woman said sharply looking up at him. He quickly put his fork down and looked back at her, giving her his full attention. "I know about your fire, Leo. I know what you did to your mom." Leo stared back at the woman terrified. "We took the precaution of putting any matches and lighters away so that you can't have anything to start a fire with. With that being said, there will be _no fire in this house_ , understand?"

Leo nodded his head vigorously, his eyes wide with fear.

"Good," the woman nodded promptly seeming satisfied with the talk. "Now go to bed."

Leo looked down at his food. He wasn't done eating but he wasn't going to argue. He quickly scooted back and ran off to his new room. When he got there he pulled some pajamas out of the drawer which were just as gray as the room. He changed into them and laid in his small bed, staring at the ceiling. He shivered from the cold nights air that seemed to be leaking in through the window. Nothing about the room was warm. It was freezing and Leo just happened to be the opposite of freezing. He needed warmth, he needed fire but he wasn't aloud to even make a spark. Not to mention, he didn't really want to after what happened with his mom.

So Leo laid there under the covers trying to get warm as the night went on.

Things went as smooth as it could possibly go for a while. Weeks had gone by with no outbursts, no throwing or screaming or cursing. Things were going pretty smoothly. Then one day the foster dad came home with the smell of alcohol stuck to his breath like never before.

"Leo!" he barked. "Get your butt over here!"

Leo quickly ran over to find him wobbling by the door. "Yes?" Leo asked politely.

"Yes, _sir_ ," the man corrected.

"Sorry," Leo mumbled.

"Here, Leo, take this," the man said handing him his jacket. "Hang it up somewhere, I don't care where." Leo nodded and ran off to hang it up in the mans closet. He was shutting the door when he heard more yelling.

"Leo! Where are you, boy?" the man shouted again.

Leo quickly ran back over to him. He was now sitting on the couch looking dazed. "Yes, sir?" Leo asked getting it right this time.

The man smiled in acknowledgment of the 'sir'. "Leo, hand me a beer from the fridge please," he ordered putting his feet up on the coffee table.

Leo nodded and rushed off to the fridge. He opened the heavy door and grabbed a brown bottle and quickly ran back over to give it to him. The man looked down at the beer and frowned. "No you idiot. I want the other one. The green one!" he yelled shooting Leo a disgusting look and thrusting the bottle back in his hands. "You do know what the color green is right?" Leo nodded and quickly ran back to he fridge to grab the other bottle. "Where's your whore of a mother, huh? Where is she? Out with some other guy again? Not even here to welcome me home."

"S-she went to the store," Leo stuttered grabbing the green bottle.

The man laughed a deep, bitter laugh. "The store! Ha! That's what she always says. I hate that woman. Leo, do you have that beer yet or are you too stupid to find it?"

"I-I have it, s-sir," Leo said throwing the fridge door shut and running over to the man. He gave him the bottle and watched as he chugged it down swiftly before tossing the bottle off to the side of the couch.

He looked over at Leo and coughed before talking. "Leo, get me another one." Leo nodded and ran back over to the fridge to grab another one. He was walking back when he tripped on the carpet sending the bottle out of his hands and crashing to the floor in front of his foster dad, making the glass break and the beer get all over him. The man looked at Leo so angrily Leo thought he would kill him with just his eyes. "YOU IDIOT!" he yelled at Leo angrily, while holding his sopping wet shirt out from his body as much as possible.

"I-I'm s-sorry-" Leo whimpered. The man grabbed the empty bottle from the couch and lugged it at Leo. Luckily, he was so intoxicated that his aim was terrible and missed Leo.

"Come here, boy!" the man shouted at him reaching for him.

Leo quickly shot up from the floor. "I-I'll get you another one-" he said quickly but was grabbed by the man.

"I knew we shouldn't have gotten you! You're not worth the money we're given!" he spat at Leo as he shook him angrily. Leo squirmed as he tried to get away from the clutches of the man. "Don't try to run away from me! You're not going anywhere!" he shouted bringing his hand back and running it across Leo's face leaving a red mark. Leo yelped and squirmed some more. "I said stop trying to run away!" The man yelled doing the same thing. Tears were starting to make their way down Leo's face. "Oh, you're crying now? How pathetic," the man spat, throwing Leo on the ground. Leo landed on his right arm and yelped in pain as he felt it shatter. The man kicked Leo in the side repeatedly before going over and grabbing his belt. "I'll teach you, you little idiot!" The man shouted bringing his belt down on Leo. The belt whipped Leo in many places leaving bruises everywhere it touched. Leo's whole body stung in pain as he cried. He just wanted it to stop. Finally the man threw his belt down and picked up Leo by the collar of his shirt. Leo didn't know where he was being taken but he was glad the beating was done for now.

The man walked downstairs into the basement and opened up a small, windowless closet with nothing in it. He threw him in roughly. "You can come out when you've learned your lesson," and with that the man threw the door shut leaving Leo cowering in the dark room by himself.

He now laid in bed hooked up to a monitor as a doctor assessed his injuries. It was decided that he would stay at the hospital until he was well enough to leave. From there he would go back into the foster care system where they would try to give him to someone else.

Leo didn't get a choice on this. It just happened. That's how things worked. But that wouldn't change the fact that those many nights locked up scarred Leo and left him broken on the inside and in desperate need for just a little love.


	2. Alleyway Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just letting you know that this chapter does have some bullying in it and some violence.

Brused and beaten, left unconscious in an alleyway. That's how he spent the night.

Leo finally started to stir awake. He slowly opened his eyes to look out at the bright sun now starting to make it's way into the sky. He struggled and sat up despite the fact that his head pounded with every move. He was wearing black clothes that matched his dark hair. His once full book bag was lying next to him completely empty. He sighed and picked it up looking at it sadly. He was no more than 12 and was alone on the streets with no money.

It had been a gang fight. He was trying to get away from a bunch of bullies but they wouldn't leave him alone. They insisted on his money but he refused. Unfortunately, they didn't accept his refusing.

It had been a nice day out, just the right temperature to go outside and not burn to death. Leo was on the run again. He had been alone on the streets for 2 months now. He had already been to 4 different foster homes and none of them ever worked out. Since his last one, he had been fighting alone and living in strange places where he wouldn't get caught or beat up, like the sewer. He was dirty and looked like he had never seen a shower in his life or had no clue what a brush was. He tended to stay away from main streets and stayed in closed up alleyways where he wouldn't get spotted.

Everything had been going fairly smooth for those 2 months. He had earned some money and was eating fairly well for a homeless kid and so far no one had found him and brought him back to the foster care system. It all went downhill after that day. He had been walking alone in a well populated alleyway, as far as alleyways go. He was trying to find a shop to buy some food at. Anywhere with decent food for little money. All the money he had made recently was in his book bag. It was no more than $100 but it was something and would feed him for the next couple of days if he played his cards right.

He was about to walk up the steps to a supermarket to buy some food when a large kid stepped out in his way. Leo looked up at him questioningly. The boy was a head taller than Leo and much buffer than Leo. He stood no chance in a fist fight against this kid. Leo waited for the boy to say something but when he didn't Leo filled in the awkward silence with his sarcastic remarks.

"Umm, giant? Yeah, hi, I'm trying to get to the store so I don't die of starvation, do you mind moving?"

The kid rolled his eyes and pushed Leo backwards making him trip and fall down the couple of steps. "Give me your money, punk," The large kid said in a deep booming voice.

Leo looked up at the kid, trying to size him up. He didn't want to get in a fight with him but he wasn't about to just give his money up. "What? No way," Leo spat back.

The kid narrowed his eyebrows and moved in closer. "I said, give me your money," he repeated in a much more threatening voice.

"Look, Gigantor, I worked long and hard for the little money I have, I am not giving it to you. Why don't you just go beg for some money on the street," Leo suggested trying to inch his way around the large kid. He didn't get very far before the kid grabbed him by his collar and yanked him back to look at him face to face.

"You think this is funny, eh? You think you're some kinda jokester?" The kid questioned getting uncomfortably close to Leo's face. Leo could now see his slightly tilted nose, lumpy moles, and yesterday's lunch stuck between his yellow teeth. "Give me the money now and I'll let you walk away without any trouble."

Leo gulped. "Aw, c'mon man, you're not gunna beat me up around all these homeless people are ya? They just want some alone time. How 'bout you just let me down and we'll both be on our very separate ways, yeah?" Leo tried to offer. The kid looked around and growled.

"Hmm, you're right, there's too many people here, too many witnesses. What do you say we take a trip to a more secluded alley, huh?" Leo shook his head and tried to protest but the kid grabbed his collar tight and yanked him down a couple of blocks. Leo desperately tried to find a way out. He didn't want to go anywhere with this kid. He wanted to be by himself and eat. The giant kid turned the corner and Leo felt his grip loosen slightly. He took the chance and kicked the boy down below in a place you should never be kicked and freed himself from the large boys clutches. Leo quickly dashed around the corner into another alley. He jumped over a spilled trash can and did some decent parkour tricks. He thought he was free when he suddenly ran right into another equally as large boy. Leo hit a full stop as he ran into the boys stomach. The kid reached down and picked Leo up off the ground by the collar of his shirt.

"Well, well, I found the runaway. Guess I win," the kid smirked. Leo wiggled in a desperate attempt to get free. "You're not going anywhere but with me."

The second kid dragged him back around to a small, dark alley that was a dead end. Waiting next to a large dumpster was the first large kid and two more boys who were a little smaller and quicker, other than them, there was no one in sight. Leo gulped and continued to struggle. "Aw, c'mon guys, do we really need to do this?"

"Yup," the first kid smiled taking a swing at Leo who just barely managed to swing to the side enough to miss the punch. The kid grunted and swung at him again. This time Leo managed to fall straight out of his shirt onto the ground. He immediately grabbed his book bag from the ground and took off running. "Grab him!" the first kid yelled looking at the smallest boy who seemed to be the fastest of the group. Leo wasn't able to make it far before the kid tackled him to the ground.

Leo landed with a small grunt as the hot asphalt slid across his bare chest, scrapping him up. The other boy sat on his back and pinned down his arms. The rest of the group came over and circled around, him laughing. "Well, you're a slippery one, aren't you?" the first boy teased. Leo did nothing but stick his tongue out since that was all he could seem to do. The boy walked over and kicked Leo squarely in the ribs. Leo grunted. "Hey Lars, hand me his book bag will ya?" The kid asked the smaller boy on Leo's back. Lars nodded and yanked the book bag from Leo and tossed it to the older kid. The first kid went through his bag pulling out anything he could find. He finally found the small pocket that held most of Leo's money. He pulled it out and started counting it with a greedy look on his face.

"Hey stop that! That's mine!" Leo yelled trying to get out of Lars' grip but he was too weak.

"Hmm," The kid said ignoring Leo. "63 dollars. There has to be more than this. Where are you hiding it, huh?" He asked staring at Leo suspiciously.

"I'm not hiding any money! That's all of it!" Leo shouted trying to convince him. It didn't work.

The large kid studied him carefully. "Let's see, it's not in your shirt because Knuckles over here still has your shirt," he said referencing to the second kids who had grabbed Leo. "Is it in your pants? Your shoes? Your underwear? Tell me or I'll see for myself," he threatened. Leo shook his head. He was not going to tell him where he hid his money. "Knuckles, check his pockets," he ordered.

Knuckles bent down and checked Leo's pockets in his pants. "Nope, I can't find any mo-" he was cut short by a swift kick from Leo to the face. Knuckles held his jaw in shock. "Why you little-" he yelled punching Leo multiple times in his jaw until a steady stream of blood was coming out.

Leo struggled to get free but Lars held his head down to the ground so that he couldn't move. "Stop moving!" he yelled getting angry and kneeing him hard in the side causing Leo's body to go slightly limp. "Hey, pull down his pants, maybe he's got it inside."

Knuckles nodded and pulled down Leo's pants in a swift motion. Leo jammed another kick into the side of his face and another into his shoulder. Knuckles grabbed Leo's leg and twisted it hard until Leo was sure he heard a pop. "I told you I don't have anymore money!" Leo yelled but they ignored him.

"Shut up!" The first kid yelled giving him a hard punch to his eye. Leo could already feel it swelling.

Lars turned to help Knuckles hold Leo's legs and in the instant Leo managed to turn himself around. He aimed straight for Lars' jaw and swung with all his might. Leo's hand caught his mouth and broke his lip sending blood all over. Unfortunately, Lars did the same thing to Leo and the two were momentarily lost in a whirl of fists. The first kid kicked Leo hard in the stomach causing him to stop fighting for a second. Lars dug his knee hard between Leo's lungs, forcing the air out of him.

Once Leo had stopped squirming Knuckles reached down and tore off Leo's shoe and sock. Nothing. He pulled off Leo's other shoe. Nothing. His sock, "Ah ha!" he shouted victorious. He held up the last of Leo's money.

"Perfect," the first kid growled. "Hand it to me." Knuckles passed him the money and he stuffed it in his own pants. "Now lets see, what to do with him..." he questioned thoughtfully.

"Why don't we just leave him in the back behind the dumpster where no one will see him?" asked the third kid. He had been off to the side watching to make sure nobody came around and saw them.

"Good idea," said the first kid and the others nodded in agreement.

Knuckles and Lars got up but right before Lars gave me another hard punch to the face. "Just in case, gotta make sure he does't try to run away or fight." Leo spat the blood out of his mouth onto the ground. He could barely breathe. His whole body racked with pain. Every joint hurt and his face felt like 20 rocks had fallen on it. Knuckles reached down and grabbed Leo by his hair, pulling him up and dragging him across the ground to the end of the wall. He threw him behind the dumpster and Leo hit his head hard. They all started to walk away but Knuckles stopped. "Hold on, this kid kicked me like 5 times. I gotta get him back," he said pulling up his sleeves.

"Yeah, me too!" Lars said. Both boys proceeded to punch Leo in the face and land deadly kicks to his stomach and lungs making them feel like they were going to collapse. By the time they were done Leo couldn't move and was unconscious.

"Alright boys, we're done here," the first kid said throwing Leo's now empty book bag on the ground next to him. They all walked away leaving Leo laying there behind a dumpster nearly beaten to death. It was two days before Leo finally woke up with serious injuries. For those two days almost no one had seen him near the dumpster and if they had, it had been from far away and figured he was simply a homeless boy taking a nap. Once he woke up he managed to crawl his way over to the nearest hospital where they took care of him and treated all his injuries before shipping him off to another foster home.


	3. Bathroom Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does contain a suicide attempt

Crying on the bathroom floor, that's how Jason found him.

It was a Wednesday night, school day. They had just gotten back from finishing class at Wilderness School for Troubled Kids. Piper, Jason, and Leo were all sitting at a table outside doing homework that was due the next day.

"This is stupid," Leo complained looking down at his English homework. "What does it matter if it's a noun? Does it look like I'm going to be a writer? This is so pointless!"

"Aw, c'mon Leo, it's not _that_ bad," Jason said giving Leo a light, playful nudge on the shoulder.

"Yeah that's easy stuff. I have to try and figure out this calculus thing. Seriously when are we ever going to use logarithms in life?" Piper said studying her paper like it was written by Deadalus himself.

"Calculus? Logarithms? Pfft, that's cake. I'll trade ya," Leo offered, waving his page in his face.

Piper looked longingly at the paper. She knew she wanted to trade. She was about to reach for the paper when she stopped herself. "No, that's not right. Plus, I need to learn this, I have a test tomorrow."

"Ugh, fine," Leo grumbled to himself looking back down at his paper. He couldn't sit still long enough to actually read it or get anything done, he was too hyper. They were quiet for a little before Leo spoke up again. "Hey, you guys just wanna ditch this homework and go hang out somewhere?"

They both shook their heads. "Nah, I really gotta get this work done," Jason said gesturing to his paper.

"Test tomorrow, remember? Plus you should do your wok too. You've been slacking off a lot lately. Coach Hedge has been getting all on your case," Piper reprimanded him.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. _'Do your work, Valdez. You're slacking, Valdez. Pick it up, Valdez. You suck, Valdez.'_ " Leo imitated Coach Hedge. "Whatever, I'm so over it honestly."

Jason looked up at him confused. "Over what?"

"Everything," Leo said exasperated. "The work, the drills, Coach Hedge, school, just... _everything_. It's all so _tiring_. I just want to lay down and sleep forever. It's not like this stupid work is going to help me get anywhere in life."

Jason and Piper looked at him slightly concerned. They had never seen their friend talk like this before. Leo cursed silently in his head. Had he let his guard down? Accidentally said too much? "That's not true," Piper said with a frown. "This work could get you a lot of places in life. College, a degree, a job, a house."

"Oh, whooptee doo, more school!" Leo said sarcastically. Leo leaned on his arm on top of the table and sighed.

"You good, bro?" Jason asked looking at Leo skeptically as if trying to read him.

"Yeah, just tired," Leo sighed. Jason nodded. Jason and Piper continued doing work while Leo sat there tapping his fingers against the table and staring at his homework.

"Hey, whats today's date?" Piper asked in general.

"Uhh, I think it's the 23rd," Jason answered.

"Thanks," said Piper writing it on top of her paper.

Leo froze. "Wait, the 23rd? April 23rd?"

"Uhh, yeah, why?" Jason asked looking at Leo curiously.

"I, uh, no reason," Leo said trying to act natural. It didn't really work. Piper and Jason stared at him, trying to read his thoughts, before turning back to their homework. Leo looked down and continued reading his work trying to get something done but his head was swirling with thoughts. After no more than five minutes Leo stood up abruptly. They both turned to look at him with a questioning look in their eyes. "I, uh, I'm going to sleep. I'm really tired," Leo said trying to think of something.

"What about your homework?" Jason pointed out.

Leo grabbed it and shrugged. "I'll do it tomorrow before class or something."

They nodded slowly. "You sure you're okay?" Piper asked Leo again.

"Yes, I'm fine Beauty Queen, just really tired. You guys finish your homework, I'll see you tomorrow," He said with a big smile. The two nodded and bid him goodnights before Leo turned around and walked off into his dorm room that he shared with Jason. The sun was just starting to set and the sky was a beautiful pink color but Leo couldn't enjoy it, not with the guilt he felt.

Leo walked into his room and sat down on the bed, burying his head into his hands. "God, how could I be so _stupid_ ," Leo mumbled angrily to himself. He sat there like that for a couple of minutes before he quickly stood up and started pacing the floor, his ADHD getting the best of him. He kept mumbling angrily to himself, his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. He finally walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

He splashed water on his face trying to get himself to calm down. He stared angrily in the mirror as if having a staring contest with himself. "Goddamnit!" Leo finally yelled breaking away from the mirror and slamming his fist on the sink counter. "I'm such an idiot! How could I be so stupid? I can't believe I forgot! April 23rd, of course! How did I not notice the date?" Leo yelled angrily to himself, banging his fist on the counter. "Seven years now. Seven years since she died. Seven years since I _killed her_. God, it's all my fault she's dead. I killed her, and I can't even remember the day she died! I'm such an idiot, how could I have forgotten!" He yelled pacing the floor.

Leo turned the sink back on and splashed some more water on his face trying to calm himself down. "Ah!" he yelled slamming his fist down again. He threaded his hands through his hair making them get caught in the curly mess. " _Tú idiota!_ " Leo felt anger well up inside him. Anger at the weird dirt lady from that night. Anger at the stupid fire. Anger at the world. Anger at himself. He could feel his eyes start to sting. Leo screamed again and ripped the curtain off its hooks in a fit of rage.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" he yelled hitting himself in the head. "Stupid!" he yelled again, punching the mirror. It sent a couple cracks through it and caused his hand to bleed but he didn't care. He leaned back against the wall and fell down to the floor. His eyes were stinging like crazy now and there was no holding back what was coming next. Leo brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head into them before letting out a loud sob. Before he knew it he was sitting on the floor crying like never before. " _Los siento, mamá._ I'm so, so sorry," he cried helplessly. "It's all my fault. I killed you. It's all my fault," Leo wept into his arms. "I'm so sorry. I would do anything to be with you right now. I just want you here with me. Anything..."

A terrible idea struck him. _Anything._ Yeah, he would do anything. He just wanted his mom, he didn't care how he got to her, as long as he was with her. Slowly, and still crying, Leo stood up and walked over to the medicine cabinet. He opened it and reached inside with his still bleeding hand. He desperately dug through it trying to find anything strong enough. He finally landed on a nearly full pill bottle that looked strong enough to kill him.

Leo wasn't thinking right now. Not rationally at least. All he knew was that he wanted his mamá and he was going to do whatever it took to be with her. He wasn't thinking about school or his future or Jason and Piper and how they might feel. He was only thinking about the streaks still running down his cheeks and the fire and the smoke and her yelling and the slight sound of morse code seconds before she died. _I love you. I love you._

Leo grabbed the bottle, still sobbing. He tried to take off the top but his blood made his hand slippery. "Stupid... piece of crap..." Leo mumbled to himself trying to open it. He gave up and just started banging the top of the bottle on the counter trying to get the top to pop open. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." He said with every slam on the sink. After a couple minutes of banging he finally gave up and laid on the floor crying, hopeless.

Leo heard a nock on the bathroom door. "Leo, are you in there?" It was Jason. Leo didn't answer, he just kept crying. "Leo, are you okay?" he asked nocking again.

Leo took a quick breath before answering. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said trying to keep his voice from shaking.

Jason hesitated. "Leo, open up," he said, hearing the quiver in Leo's voice.

"I'm fine, Jason, really," Leo said again trying to convince him while also trying to open up the bottle again.

Jason was not convinced. "Leo, c'mon, bro, open up. I know you're not okay, I can hear it in your voice."

"Just go away, Jason," Leo said struggling to get the bottle open.

"Leo, open the door right now," Jason ordered.

"What if I don't wanna?" Leo questioned. It was supposed to come out more snarky but it just came out depressed.

Jason sighed. "Leo, if you don't open this door then I'll knock it down myself." Jason waited for Leo to open the door or say something. "Leo, I'm serious, open the door." Nothing. "One... two... three!" On three Jason hit the door with all his might and managed to get it to swing open. At the same time Leo also finally managed to open the bottle but the fright of the door slamming open caused all the pills to go everywhere. Leo cursed to himself as he tried to save what was left.

Jason looked over and saw his tiny friend curled up against the wall, crying, and holding an open bottle of pills. "Leo!" Jason shouted running over and grabbing the bottle from him. "What are you doing? Did you take these?" Jason demanded Leo.

Leo shook his head slowly. "No I- I couldn't get it o-open," he stuttered. He sat up a little and started looking on the floor for the spilled ones. He grabbed a couple and was about to stick them in his mouth but Jason grabbed his wrist and slapped them out of his hand. As soon as they hit the floor Jason stepped on them, crushing them into powder so Leo couldn't swallow it.

"Leo! What is this? What do you think you're doing?"

Leo tried to reply but all that came out were sobs. Loud, desperate sobs. Jason sighed and sat down on the floor next to his friend and pulled him close. Leo leaned in and rested his head on his chest and continued crying. After a couple of minutes Leo had calmed down and caught his breathe a little. Jason took this time to try to get Leo to talk.

"Leo... why?" was all he could manage to fathom into words.

Leo took a couple of breaths before answering. "T-today is the day m-my mom... d-died," he stuttered out.

Jason face dropped and he pulled the small boy closer to his body. "Oh, Leo, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

Leo cried into Jason's chest. "I... I k-killed her Jason. I killed her!"

"What do you mean you killed her? Leo, I know you, you would never hurt a fly if you didn't have to," Jason asked confused.

"I-I was eight and there was this weird... _thing._ It was a lady. It was like she was made of dirt. I- I burned her in her workshop, Jason," Leo explained. Jason made a confused face and Leo went on to explain the story as best as possible to him. "It's all my fault."

"Aw, c'mon, Leo, no it's not. You were eight, you were scared, you didn't know what to do. It's not your fault," Jason said in a soothing voice, his arm still wrapped tightly around the small Latino.

"I didn't even remember it was today. Seven years today, and I forgot!" Leo shouted, tears starting to make their way down his face again.

"Shh, shh, relax, Leo, it's okay, I'm here, it's not your fault, okay? Just relax," Jason said smoothing down Leo's wild hair and hugging him close trying to get him to calm down. Leo nodded. "Hey, c'mon, let's go to sleep now, okay?" Leo nodded. They got up but before they left the bathroom Jason stopped and looked at Leo in his eyes. "Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me you won't ever try anything like this again. Promise me you'll talk to me first, okay?"

Leo nodded. "Okay," he said barely above a whisper.

"Good. Now, let''s go to bed, you need to sleep. If you want you can stay in bed tomorrow. I'll cover for you, tell Coach that you're sick," Jason offered.

Leo nodded and smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"No problem. That's what friends are for," Jason smiled before setting Leo down on his bead then turning to put his pajamas on.

Jason was just sitting down on his bead when Leo spoke up from where he sat. "Hey, Jason?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Can you please not tell Piper about this?"

Jason frowned. "Leo, she's your friend, she should know, she can help you."

"I know, I know but... I just don't want her to know. Not yet at least. I'll tell her myself, just give me sometime."

Jason smiled. "Okay, Leo, no problem," he said laying in bed. "Goodnight, Leo."

"Goodnight, Jason." And with that they were both fast asleep. Jason continued to keep a close watch over Leo whenever he could. He was always very protective of the curly haired boy and let him take his time to tell Piper. Unfortunately, before Leo could ever tell Piper, Jason woke up on the bus with no memory and they found out they were demigods causing their whole lives to be flipped upside down.

The worst part? Jason completely forgot this whole event ever even happened.


	4. The Argo II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains depressive thoughts and a suicide attempt. Hope you enjoy :)

Happy and dried eyed, seemingly content with life. That's how Percy found him when he went to change shifts with him. That's not how he was a couple hours before that, however.

It was a dark night out. The ship was flying in the air just high enough so that they were too high up for anything in the ocean to reach them but just low enough to see through the fog that was starting to make its way in. Leo's head was swimming with thoughts. They were on their way to Greece and the quest was setting in motion. All seven of them were on the ship, off to reach a new land in hopes of finding the Doors of Death and defeating Gaea. Despite so much going on, Leo couldn't get his head out of the gutter. All that kept replaying in his mind were the failed attempts at a life he tried to have when he was little. So many things had gone wrong and he was starting to wonder when something would go right, if ever.

A thought flashed through his mind. His mom. Eight years now. It's been almost eight years without his mom; half of his life. Eight years since he's ran into someones arms for a big hug. Eight years since he had someone to hold him when he was sad and listen to him when he wanted to talk. Eight years since he's had someone to love him unconditionally no matter what happened, no matter how badly he messed up. Now she was gone and it was all because of Leo. He blamed himself for everything that happened that night. The fire, the smoke, the burning, it was all his fault. His mom died at his hands.

Leo shook his head trying to get her out of his mind. There was no point of thinking about it, he couldn't change what happened. And every time he thinks about her it just makes him depressed. So Leo searched around in his brain for a different topic to think of. Unfortunately the one that came up was just as bad as his mom.

His foster homes. All of the running away and abusive parents and throwing and hitting and drinking. It was like it never stopped. He did have one nice foster home though, but it was short loved. A great family, nice, kind, actually cared about Leo. And then one night he lost control of his powers. It wasn't as bad as his mom but it was bad enough to send Leo running off again in fear of hurting someone else he cared about. Which brought up another memory.

Living on the streets. It was almost as bad as the foster homes. It was dirty, he slept in some weird places and went for days without eating because he had little to no money. He was constantly scavenging for any food he could possibly find and get his dirty hands on. Bullies and gangs where everywhere. Always getting pushed around and money taken from him, money that he desperately needed. And then one day the government decided they had had enough of him. He had run away too many times, they wanted him out of their hair. So, they marked him as a troubled kid and shipped him off to Wilderness School. It was about the luckiest brake he had gotten since his mom died. He was still bullied by other kids and getting up at 3 in the morning to run a mile sucked but it was worth it once he met Piper.

Piper. Even at Wilderness School she was stunningly beautiful, with short, choppy brown hair and eyes that seemed change colors. She appeared at school one day after Leo had been there for about 2 months. The 2 months without her hadn't been the best but Leo had had worse. He joked and laughed and marked himself as the class clown to avoid getting beat up as much as possible. There were still a couple though, who found time to go out of their way and push Leo around and tease him. They teased him for being short, they teased him for not having any friends to hang out with, some even teased him for being Mexican. The insults were endless but Leo didn't really mind. He would rather have people calling him names than empty beer bottles being thrown at him from his foster dad in a fit of rage.

One day Leo wasn't feeling particularly well emotionally and wasn't in the mood for being name called. Plus, his bullies had struck a nerve- his mom. They mocked him, said to go home to his mommy. When Leo's usual smile turned into a scowl they knew they had hit him where it hurt. So, of course, they continued. They teased him endlessly. "What happened to your mom, huh? Did she leave you? Decide you weren't worth the trouble? She probably hated you, who wouldn't? I wouldn't want _you_ for a kid." And that was just half of the things they said. Leo was getting fed up with it, he could feel anger boiling up inside him. _No_ his mom did _not_ leave him. No, she had died, because of Leo. For once in his life, Leo felt on the verge of tears because of a couple of bullies. And then he saw a glimmer of hope- Piper.

Piper was new and just happened to be walking by at the moment. She saw the little Latino hunched over with a sad look on his face, trying to hold back tears. Piper immediately walked over and stepped between him and his bullies. She looked them straight in the eye with a stern look and without a second thought started reprimanding them. "Hey, why don't you back off? Stop picking on him will you? Don't make fun of his insecurities just because you can't face your own. Shove off."

Surprisingly enough to Leo, the bullies did as she said and walked away from them. Piper looked back at Leo. Leo cleared his throat and stood up straight trying to make himself seem more presentable and not as weak as he had just been. "Um, thanks," he muttered playing with the ends of his shirt nervously. He really was thankful for her standing up for him but he wasn't completely sure how to say it.

Piper simply nodded. "No problem. My name's Piper," she said sticking out a hand for Leo to shake.

Leo quickly grabbed it and shook. "Leo."

"Nice to meet you, Leo. Mind showing me around? It's my first day here."

And from then on they were friends. Piper was stunningly beautiful and other kids often teased them about being boyfriend and girlfriend but it was never like that between them. They saw each other as siblings that they would do anything for. They were just friends but that was fine with Leo, he didn't want anything more. He just wanted a friend. And for the first time he got one.

And then came Jason. And all the fake memories and the Grand Canyon and Camp Half-Blood and the prophecy and this crazy quest and now Leo was here, standing at the railing of the ship looking down into the dark water, 20 feet down. He was often left all alone on the ship. No one ever talked to him, they were always with their partners. And now Leo's one true friend was gone, always hanging out with his second closest friend, they both left him for each other. Leo couldn't help but feel alone on this big ship. People barely even gave him a second glance anymore. They only talked to him when something needed fixing and never laughed at his jokes. They never laughed before either but at least before they were kind about it, now they seemed to give him side eyed glances every time he even opened his mouth.

He felt excluded from the group, he never had anyone to talk to or hang out with. There was no one he could share his feelings with, go to at 2 in the morning when nightmares woke him up again and he couldn't go back to sleep. He just started spending most of his time up on deck talking to Festus or in the engine room trying to "fix something". At least, that's what he told the crew. He always told them he was fixing the engine, trying to make things smoother, making repairs. Most of the time he could just say random words that sounded complicated and they would believe him and leave him be. He really spent most of his time there thinking about his life and where he screwed up so badly. Thinking about how alone he felt in the world and how it didn't seem like it was ever going to change. They didn't even need him on this ship anymore. He had done all there was for him to do, he built the ship and he taught Annabeth how to steer it so he wasn't even necessary for that anymore. He didn't do _anything._

Overtime as he sat in the engine room alone, his thoughts seemed to get darker and darker. Names started racing through his mind- idiot, worthless, stupid, useless, pathetic, seventh wheel. He started crying on the floor, trying in a desperate attempt to get out the emotions that were flooding inside him, constantly threatening to spill over in front of everyone else. He started wearing long sleeved shirts all the time to hide the scars that he had started making on his wrists again. He couldn't let anyone know what he was doing, how he really felt. They didn't care, the didn't need any extra burdens on their shoulders.

Leo stared out over the railing. His mind was dark again, darker than it had ever been before. His mind was shouting at him all these words, _worthless, pathetic, burden, seventh wheel, jump, just do it, weak, jump over, do it already, the've all been waiting for it, take one less burden from them, seventh wheel, kill yourself._

The voice was too strong, too loud, it seemed to be all of Leo. All he is, all he has ever been, and all he'll ever be. He couldn't ignore it, not this time. A tear rolled down his cheek, finding it's way out randomly. The words echoed in Leo's head. The voice was right and he knew it. His friends didn't want him around anymore, no one did. There was nothing left to live for. It was all over for him, it has been for a while. Every new day was more painful than the last. He could just end his suffering right now. More tears ran down his face. He wanted to do it.

Leo gripped the railing hard and swung one leg over. His mind seemed to go blank to everything that wasn't the voice. It was all he could hear, all he could think. Tears were flowing out steadily now. He swung his other leg over. He turned so his back was to the rail. He stared down at the murky waters below. So close yet so far. He was tired of being the outcast, tired of never being wanted. He just wanted some love and compassion for once but all that had been taken away the day his mom died, the day he killed her.

Leo was sobbing now. He prayed no one else could hear him. Hopefully the wind was too loud and stopped his sobs from traveling past his mouth. He could do it, right now, just let go. The only thing stopping him were his fists gripped tight to the railing. Did he really want to do this? Did he really want to end his life? After all he's been through? After all he's put up with? Was it worth it? Maybe what everyone says is right, maybe it does get better. It didn't seem to be getting better for him but he had to try. He had to wait it out, right? It's not like it could get much worse. There had to be something worth living for.

He taught through all his options until his mind rested on one- Jason. Almost two years ago now Jason had found Leo curled up in the bathroom, holding an open pill bottle with shaky hands. That had been the first and last time he had tried to take his life but Jason had stopped him. He had promised Jason that he wouldn't do it again. He had promised. But was the promise worth anything? Jason didn't even remember that ever happening. If he let go, Jason would have never known there was a promise to break. But he couldn't. He just _couldn't_. He had _promised._

Leo took a shaky breath but he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't go through with this, no, he had to keep living, for his promise, for Jason, for Piper, for the quest, for his mom. He had to keep pushing through. Leo turned his body around so that his stomach was facing the railing. He lifted one leg up and was about to put it over the railing to go back on the deck when his other foot slipped.

Leo let out a small yelp. He held on to the railing with all his strength as the wind whipped around him, the sea calling him downward. Leo's knuckles turned white. In the dead of night Leo hung from the railing. The boy who was about to kill himself was now hanging on for dear life. There was no one around to help him back up and if anyone did find him and help him he would have to explain what he was doing over the railing in the first place. No, he had to get up by himself.

The small Latino struggled to try to pull himself up with his arms. He managed to rest his foot in a spot in the railing, just secure enough for him to pull himself back up. Leo pulled up with all his strength and managed to barely yank himself over the railing and come crashing down onto the deck floor. Leo scrambled away from the side and laid down in the middle of the deck, gasping for air. He couldn't believe he had almost died, couldn't believe he tried to take his own life again. He laid there, in the middle of the deck, as tears of relief started to make their way out. After a couple minutes he took deep breaths and allowed himself to calm down.

He sat up in the middle of the deck where he sat for the rest of the night until Percy came for his watch. He was sure to stay away from the side of the ship. When Percy arrived Leo was feeling better and was able to put on his signature grin for Percy as he walked off to his room to try to get as much sleep as possible before the nightmares woke him up again.


	5. The War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This technically has character death?? This doesn't count right? He came back so it doesn't count. Sorry this one is so much shorter than the rest.

Bruised and burnt to a crisp, his chest no longer moving, that's how Festus was holding him on his back after the fiery explosion that knocked them out of the sky.

It had been the war. They were fighting Gaea and her monsters at Camp Half-Blood. In a desperate attempt Leo did the thing he had been planning for weeks now. He prayed that it worked.

Him and Festus were shooting through the sky on fire. Even for Leo it was hot. He could see his hair starting to burn on the ends. That wasn't good. If his hair was starting to burn then that meant he would too, eventually. He looked forward and saw Gaea waking up and staring at him with her large dirt colored eyes. This had to work, it had to.

Leo thought quickly over everything he had done in his life time. He had lost his mom, he had been to countless foster homes, he had been on the run, he had made friends and lost them, he had screwed things up but he'd also fixed things, he had made a family and found a new home, he had been depressed, he had almost died so many times. And this was another of those times.

Maybe Leo wouldn't die, maybe he would survive the explosion and live without using the Physicians Curse. He knew it was wishful thinking. He prayed that once he did burn up, everything would go smoothly. He would die but Festus will live. Gaea will go back to sleep. Festus will somehow get him to drink the Cure and he'll come back to life, hopefully not as a zombie. He will live and hopefully, if things go really well, he'll land on Calypso's island and run in to her arms and hug her and kiss her and sweep her off her feet and take her to see the world. Gods he couldn't wait to see her again. He had to go back to her. He had to. He had promised.

Leo stared ahead and narrowed his eyes at the Gaea. "Alright, Dirt Face, here I come," he mumbled in a determined tone.

Everything around him started to melt and simmer. The only colors Leo could see where orange and red. Time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. He knew this was it. He clenched his jaw tight and prepared himself for the impact that he knew was coming. It was like driving at 100 miles per hour and watching as you drove straight into a wall. The crash was inevitable.

The wind whipped his hair around him. Gaea was getting closer and closer and the fire seemed to get hotter with each second.

30 feet away

20 feet away

15 feet

10 feet

5

_Boom_

The crash was loud. Loud enough to distract everyone below and stop them from fighting to look up at the scene unfolding in front of them. There where shouts from below. The explosion rang in everyone's ears. People muttered at the sky. "What was that? Who was that? Where's Leo?"

And then there were screams. Loud ones. "Leo?!" "Where's Leo?!" "Leo!" "No!" "Leo!"

But Leo couldn't hear any of it. His whole body was numb. To him the world was deathly quiet. His vision blurred. He could just barely make out a face of dirt that seemed to be screaming in pain but he couldn't hear it's yelps. It was getting harder to breathe. His chest burned like the fire was inside him, eating him up from the inside. Is this what it feels like to burn? Is this what my mom felt? He couldn't help but wonder.

He could feel himself loosing consciousness, slipping away from the world. Fetus continued to move through the sky in a fiery streak. It hurt to breathe. This was it, this is where Leo Valdez was going to die. His mind slowed and churned. His brain felt like mush and he could barely make a coherent thought. All the air had been knocked out of him. His lungs felt like they collapsed inside of him and he couldn't take in another breath. The world faded out around him. He managed to put together one last thought before he slipped into oblivion- Calypso.

When Leo woke back up on the dragon he was more than happy to take in large gulps of air. His body was slightly sore but most of the damage had been fixed with the physicians cure. He was even happier to find that just down below them in the pale blue of the sea he could make out a tiny dot of white sand. He neared closer and saw palm trees dotted throughout it. He knew exactly where he was- Calypso's Island. They had found Ogygia.

Leo smiled broadly at Festus and patted his back. "Good job buddy. Set us down on that island. We've made it."


	6. The Doors of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter guys!!! This one does have an actual death in it, sorry. But, hey, you knew that coming in.

Leo Valdez walked through the doors into the Underworld at the age of 67, a ripe old age for a demigod like himself.

He was wrinkled and his curls had turned into wavy wisps of gray. When he looked in the mirror he saw his great grandpa, Sammy Valdez, the one from Hazel's childhood in New Orleans.

He had two kids, a girl named Esperanza who was now 42 years old. She had long, dark, curly hair, dark brown eyes, and a mischievous grin. She had always been a trouble maker, loved to pull pranks, but was kind to everyone and never treated anyone poorly.

He had a boy, now 38, named Alexander. He was tall and thin with light brown hair, hazel eyes, and freckles running across his cheeks and nose. He was almost a spitting image of Calypso.

 _Calypso._ Leo had landed down on her island so many years ago. He swept her off and showed her the world. They dated until they were 22 when Leo finally got down on one knee. At first he was worried that they were too young but they were demigods and there was no telling how long they had to live. If Leo was going to spend the rest of his life with someone, he decided he wanted it to be her. They married and lived happily with each other until 3 years ago when she died of a stroke, mortality finally catching up with her and showing her what happened to all mortals in the end.

After she died Leo lived alone in his empty house. Alexander and Esperanza made sure to come by frequently and visit. They brought along their own children, one who looked exactly like Leo had when he was 15. Eventually, Leo's heart gave out as well. The doctors said it was a heart attack but his friends and family knew better- he had died of heart ache. He had spent 3 years without Calypso and he just couldn't do it anymore, he needed the love of his life back. So he laid in bed one night and greeted Thantos happily.

He now stood at the table facing three hooded figures. They seemed to look inside his soul. "Leo Valdez," one of them rasped.

"The one and only," he grinned wickedly.

"One of the seven. Gave his life to defeat Gaea," the one on the right said.

"Cheated Death," the one of the left snarled in return.

"Saved the immortal Calypso from her imprisonment on Ogygia," the one on the right suggested.

"And made her mortal and die," the one on the left countered.

"Saved countless lives," the right one shot.

"Killed his own mother," the left one volleyed back.

The hooded figure in the middle cut them off. "All those are minor accidents. He saved the whole world from destruction. If it weren't for him we would all be under Gaea's rule right now." The figure banged a gavel on the table. "You are granted Elysium." The other figures nodded.

Leo smiled at them gratefully and walked through. He couldn't wait to see Calypso, Hazel, and Jason again. They had all died before him and Leo was sure they had all found their way to Elysium.

As he walked to the brightly colored fields he noticed a slight spring in his step and for the first time in years his joints didn't hurt. He felt like he could jump and run. He looked down to find that he had been reverted back to his old 16 year old body. He smiled brightly. Calypso had to be here somewhere. He walked up to the gate that led into Elysium. As he got closer the gates opened up for him revealing a large field with brightly colored flowers and homes.

He walked in, following the sidewalk through the grass. He walked until he got to the little town holding only the best people. He walked through and looked at the names on the doors. Aristotle, Dante, Homer, Hercules. So many heroes where here and now he was one of them. He kept walking until he reached a tiny, wood house with a plate on the door that read 'Calypso'. Leo beamed at the name and ran up to the door. He took a deep breath before nocking on it.

He heard rustling coming from inside the house. A chair squeaked across the floor as someone stood to get up from inside. The was a click from the lock and the door swung open to reveal Calypso looking as young as she had been when he had first taken her off her island. She wore a white tunic and her light brown hair was swept to one side. She looked up at Leo with her sparkling brown eyes. Oh how Leo had missed them so much.

Calypso's mouth dropped. "Leo!" she yelled throwing her arms around him and hugging him tight.

Leo laughed. "Hey, Sunshine," he said hugging her back just as tightly.

"I can't believe you're here! It's been so long. What happened? How did you- you know- die?" she asked finally pulling away to look him in the eye but still keeping her arms on him.

Leo smiled sadly at her. "I missed you too much. My poor old heart couldn't take it anymore. I had to see you again."

"Oh, Leo," she smiled, tears forming in her eyes.

"No, don't cry. Why are you crying?" he asked wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Calypso sniffed and grabbed his hand that was rested on her cheek. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"I told you I would come back for you. I promised I would and I always will." Leo smiled and pulled her into a long, gentle kiss. It had been so long since her lips where on his. He had missed it so much.

They pulled back and Calypso looked at him with slight worry. "How are the Esperanza and Alex? The grandkids? Are they okay?"

"Relax, _princess,_ they're fine. They're living their lives happily. They're all doing amazing. They still have some life left to live. 'Till then it's just us," he smiled at her, pulling her in close for another kiss.

"I missed you so much, Leo," Calypso whispered.

"I missed you too, Sunshine."

Calypso smiled up at Leo. "Why don't I show you around? There's some people that have been wanting to see you."

Leo gave Calypso a quick peck before nodding. "I love you."

Calypso smiled at him. "I love you, too. Now come on, Jason is going to freak when he finds out that his best friend is here."

Leo followed Calypso around the town and met all of the ones they had lost. Jason tackled him in a bear hug that was so strong it would have killed him if he wasn't already dead. Hazel smiled up at Leo, tears in her eyes. Both of them asked him how everyone was doing, it was hard not knowing how the living where doing. Leo assured them they were all doing fine. "They just miss you guys," he said with a sad smile.

"I miss them, too," Hazel sighed brushing her hair out of her face. They all looked young again; youth had been restored to the kids who had saved the world.

Time went by and more people started making their way here. First Piper and then Frank a couple years later. Leo was sad to see his youngest granddaughter come through. She had died at 24. Someone had pulled a gun out and shot at her younger brother, the one who looked like Leo. She jumped in front of him and took the bullet. She died then but not before taking down the shooter herself. She was granted Elysium for her brave act.

After what seemed like eternity, Annabeth and Percy came walking through the gates, hand in hand. How they managed to die together at the same time, no one knew, but leave it to them to do it.

Leo was glad to be back with Calypso, living a happy, dead life. As long as he had his friends and his wife with him, he would never be sad again. And they were stuck together from now on.

Leo grabbed Calypso's hand and beamed at her. "C'mon, Sunshine, we have the rest of eternity to live."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed reading this story! If you liked it please hit kudos or something and please leave a comment!! Even if you didn't like it, still leave a comment! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.


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